Question: I am a 32 year old married woman. It has been more than three years since I got married. I married the person chosen by my parents. But the truth is that we are just husband and wife. There is nothing like love-affection and intimacy in our relationship. Due to lack of emotional connection, there is little romance between us. I am not happy at all in this marriage. But for the sake of my family, I am maintaining this relationship. However, one reason I am staying in this marriage is my brother-in-law, who became my best friend within a few months.

Actually, I and my brother-in-law get along very well. We both share a good chemistry with each other. This is also because we both have exactly the same likes and dislikes regarding many things. This is also the reason why I talked to my husband about my strained relationship. He is not only a listener but also a great mentor, who made me feel mentally relaxed. But the problem is that I developed a strange attraction towards her.

While spending time together, we not only became very close to each other but we even kissed once. However, I don't see anything wrong in getting close to my brother-in-law. This is because whatever happened is my husband's fault. I never got love from her side. Now I am very happy with her. I have started loving my brother-in-law.

Now I don't understand whether I should remain in this marriage or not. This is because I cannot bear the distance from my brother-in-law, which is also why I do not want to leave my husband. If I divorce my husband, my relationship with my brother-in-law will also end. Tell me what should I do?

Expert's answer

Rachna Avatramani, a relationship counselor in Mumbai, says that I understand that you are in a difficult situation right now. But the truth is that in an arranged marriage, it takes time for emotional attachment to develop between husband and wife. The lack of emotional connection can be clearly seen in your relationship, due to which physical intimacy between you two is negligible.

You believe that your husband has not been able to connect with you emotionally, due to which your friendship with your brother-in-law has started growing. In such a situation, I would advise you to first consider your feelings and understand them.

Does your brother-in-law also want to enter into a relationship?

As you told that you started feeling attraction towards your brother-in-law, due to which both of you once came so close that you even kissed each other. In such a situation, I would like to tell you that you should know whether your feelings towards your brother-in-law are only for some time or you want something more from him.

You also have to see what your brother-in-law's feelings are. What kind of relationship does he want with you? Not only this, also consider how your husband will feel when he comes to know about this situation. Before taking any decision, you should talk clearly to your brother-in-law.

Its consequences can be bad

You have also told that you cannot stay away from your brother-in-law. In such a situation, let me tell you that you are getting trapped in a serious situation, the consequences of which can be very bad in the future. First of all you have to decide whether you want to take your marriage forward or not. If you do not want to stay in this marriage, then it is better to end your relationship. This is because if you develop closeness with your brother-in-law while being in a relationship, then many relationships can get spoiled due to this one reason.